Raleigh Heart2Heart Wedding Blog: My role as a Wedding Officiant on a Wedding Day

I have been working as an officiant in the state of North Carolina for five years, I was Ordained in 1992 in the state of New Hampshire where I was born and raised. Although my spiritual service began in NH where I lead many services and events, I have found my home in NC.

Recently a bride asked me, "What do you do when you arrive at the venue?" So, this piece is about what a minister/officiant does before, during, and after a ceremony. I thought perhaps this might help couples understand how it works from my perspective.

I don’t know if it’s true for every officiant but, from the moment I walk into a wedding, I wear many different hats…

I’m often requested by couples to use my decorative pieces such as my arch and or flower topped columns for the ceremony area. This sets the area apart and makes it the focal point.

I design and create these “props” and can change colours based on the wedding colour scheme and offer them free of charge to help my bride & groom create a beautiful ceremony area and save money at the same time.

~The Decorator~

So upon arrival I seek out the location where I need to set up & decorate. Sometimes there is someone there who can direct me and other times I have to hunt down someone in the know. Once I get the location noted then it’s on to setting up my props. Sometimes I have volunteers that will help carry the items so I can get busy making them look perfect.

To the best of my knowledge I am the only Officiant in NC that offers these wedding props to help their couples save money and still have a beautifully decorated ceremony area.

Once I have taken care of the ceremony area set up I will seek out the bride & groom to let them know I am here and all is well.

I will then discuss any last minute details and most importantly I reassure both the bride & groom that everything is beautiful and it’s time for them to enjoy the meaning of the day. I will Pray with the bridal party if requested or even offer an alternate short mediation for those so inclined.

Because I don’t book multiple weddings on the same day, I’m available to relax the couple about time restraints. I tell them I’m there for the day and at their service.

~Meet and Greeter~

After acquiring and reviewing the marriage license to make sure everything is in legal order I’m off to meet with family members and other vendors. If there is a special song for the bride to walk to I will know what it is and when to have the guests stand. I may need to be fitted for a microphone so I will take the time to get that done and do a sound check.

I will then meet with anyone reading a part in the ceremony to make sure they have a copy of their reading and if not I always bring an extra print out along to prevent any mishaps.

Time to recheck the ceremony area and make sure everything still looks perfect.

Since the time I arrived I’ve been introducing myself to family and guests and welcoming them to the wedding. This is the time when I can answer any questions they may have for me.

~Nervous grooms Life line~

As the ceremony time nears and the guests begin seating it’s now my time to stand close to the nervous groom.

Lending the groom an arm of support

Waiting for the bride

I chat with him about how I’ll be his life line throughout the ceremony, and all he needs to do is follow my lead through each part and I promise him that I will not let him down.

I remind him that I’ll repeat things twice so he doesn’t have to worry about “messing up”. A couple of jokes later and he is feeling more confident about his role.

Also if requested this is the time I make any announcements to the guests about cell phones, photo taking, etc.

~ The Officiant~

Now is my time to shine as I lead the bride and groom through one of the most important days in their lives.

My delivery is everything! It must be heartfelt and said with the passion in which it was written. I must convey not only to the couple but also their friends and family that this is no ordinary wedding ceremony. This is the story of two people in love and so committed to one another they have come forth to tell the world they will live as husband and wife from here on out.

Sure we go through the legally required words but there is so much more in this ceremony. The things you don’t hear but see and feel.

It is I that must set the tone for the ceremony to be as fun as it is meaningful. I am responsible to guide the couple through the thoughtfully written script and at the same time to engage the guests in the ceremony that makes it a community event.

No long boring sermons leaving everyone waiting to get on the reception, but rather a delightful sharing of memories and moments to be carried throughout the day.

Even after the couple have kissed and been introduced as Mr. and Mrs., my job is not completely done yet.

~Business Woman~

signing twice is required

This is when I put my business hat on & seek out the two witnesses to sign the marriage license therefore making the marriage legal in the eyes of the law.

I enjoy getting photos with the couple and remind their professional photographer about how I will be writing a Blog for this wedding & will await their photos to complete that task.