My Unity Ceremony Series - Handfasting Ceremonies for modern couples

 

Tying the Knot

Handfasting Ceremonies for Modern Couples

 

 

The modern expressions, "tying the knot," "bonds of matrimony" and "hand in marriage" all hail from many ancient traditions such as  the Mayans of South America to the Hindu Vedic community of the Middle East to the Celtic culture of Scotland, tying of the hands is one of the oldest matrimonial traditions.

 

Although there are countless variations on the practice, the symbolic act typically involves fastening a couple's hands together with cording, ribbon, twine or a silk sash, prayers may be recited, readings or the couple can say their vows while fastened together.

 

Whereas this practice stems from so many cultures there are equally as many ways to perform the ceremony. The versatility of the ritual is easily adaptable to ceremonies of any faith.

 

There is nothing more delightful then to be able to offer couples so many ways to make this ceremony personally theirs alone.

A couple can not only choose the words in the ceremony but the style, colours & decorations of cord and the material used to create it.

Numerous online wedding vendors sell ready-made and custom versions.

Generally four to six feet in length, the threads can consist of any color or material and may contain specific charms, bells, gemstones or keepsake tokens attached to bless to marriage.

 

Couples often chose to create their own cord feeling that it adds a special love from each of them. Other options are including children, family and friends to add their love as well.

 

 

The wording style of the ritual can be written to fit the bride and groom’s lifestyles, faith and expression of love that is unique only to them.

Types of Handfasting Ceremonies

Christian

 

 

·         A handfasting ceremony represents everything that a Christian marriage is based on. The rope itself can even serve as a reference to Ecclesiastes 4:12 and your marriage to your fiancé also being a marriage involving God. “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

Secular or Non-Religious

 

 

 

 

The love already shared by your hearts
has been strengthened by the vows you have taken
you will be bound by your love as you are bound by your clasped hands
from now until the end of your days

 

New Age – Celtic, Buddhist, South Asian, Hindu Vedic 

 

 

 

 

Handfasting ceremonies can vary for the culture it embraces.

I am happy to discuss and research the Handfasting ceremony that encompasses everything your beliefs require.

 

There are even many options with the design of the knot to be tied around the couple’s hands.

·         Fisherman's Knot
Also known as a true lovers knot, the fisherman’s knot forms one of the most durable bonds. The binding consists of two interlocking, overhand knots that create a symmetrical figure eight. The simple knot strengthens under pressure and becomes sturdier when it gets wet.

 

·         God’s Knot
The God's Knot consist of three cords to represent the spiritual union of a husband and wife and their covenant relationship with God. During the ceremony, the couple work together to braid the three cords -- purple for the groom, white for the bride and gold for God.

Infinity Knot
According to GaiasHandfasting.com, the recipient of the 2011 and 2012 Bride’s Choice Award, Wiccan couples form the infinity symbol by crossing their arms and joining their hands, creating a figure eight. The officiant then wraps the ribbon around the couple's hands three times. While most couples choose to release the binding before the ceremony ends, some opt to wear it throughout the reception until they are able to consummate the marriage.

Mystic Knot
Among feng shui practitioners, the infinity-shaped mystic knot is believed to bless a marriage with good luck, harmony and longevity. Considered an auspicious object, the ribbon is wrapped around the couple's hands six times creating a seamless, never ending binding to symbolize the endless cycles of birth and rebirth.

Trinity Knot
The triquetra is most commonly seen in Irish wedding ceremonies. Historians estimate that the ancient Celtic symbol dates back to 600 AD. Among pagan followers, the three points represent the mother, maiden and crone, while Christians use the well-known symbol to signify the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

 

 

 

If you feel this Unity Ceremony rings true in your heart please contact me for the numerous possibilities of how to incorporate it into your wedding ceremony.

 

samantha@heart2heart.us

 

919-373-4267

www.raleighweddingofficiant.com

 

 

 

 

My Unity Ceremony Series - Guests Wishing-Blessing Stone Ceremony

 

Guests Wishing/Blessing Stone Ceremony

 

This can be a stand-alone ceremony or have it follow the couples Oath Stone vows

A beautiful way to include your guests in your ceremony.

 

 

Blessing or Wishing Stones are a beautiful way to allow your guests to offer well wishes and blessings to the couple during the wedding ceremony.



Each guest is given a small stone upon arriving, either personally by a designated attendant,

 

or by placing a stone on each guest's chair with instructions.

Placed on your guests wedding ceremony chairs is a stone - They can hold it and wish for things like love, happiness, prosperity, strength, family, patience, etc. for your marriage.

 

You may also have the stones in a container or on a table for the guests to select their own

 

 (Officiant)

Now that the Bride & Groom exchanged their vows you each held a stone in your hands. I now ask that you take a moment to reflect on all the well wishes, and happy thoughts you want for the new couple. This energy is thought to then go into the stone and fill it with love and happiness.

 

 

When the guests exit the seating area they can leave the stones in a basket or decorative vase.

 

 

 

After the wedding, give these stones a special place in your home to remind you of the vows taken on your wedding day.

However they are displayed, they will always be a precious keepsake of a special occasion in your life.

 

 

Other Options:

 

Using stones that have pre-printed words on them such as; happiness, laughter, joy & Peace.

 

 

Asking your guests to write a wish on the stone with a sharpie pen possibly replacing the guest book.

 Choosing Gem Stones for your guests to hold. Rose Quartz means love, Tigers Eye means clear thinking, Adventurine means prosperity and there are so many more to add to the magic of your day.

 

Don’t forget to read my blog about the Oath Stone Vows that accompanies this ceremony perfectly!

I welcome any & all comments, questions and new ideas so please feel free to post your comments below or contact me anytime.

Samantha@heart2heart.us

919-373-4267

www.raleighweddingofficiant.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



My Unity Ceremony Series - The Oath Stone Vows

The Oath Stone Vows 



 

 

 

The Oathing Stone will add a memorable highlight to your wedding ceremony while exchanging your vows and will surround your special day with an aura of magic that will last throughout eternity.

 

 

Embrace the old European tradition… The Oathing Stone was once thought to be the best way to express your solemn promise or vow in the physical form.

 

While you and your groom are reciting your vows, your groom is holding the oath stone in one hand, and your hand is on top of the stone, so now the both of you have your hands on the stone while you are reciting your vows. It is believed that holding the stone during the reading of the vows casts them into the stone.

 

You may wish to include the words of a special Celtic Blessing for the bride and groom:

Above you are the stars, below you are the stones.
As time passes, remember...
Like a star should your love be constant,
Like the earth should your love be firm.
Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect
guide you in your marriage,
Let the strength of your wills bind you together,
Let the power of love and desire make you happy
and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable.
Possess one another, yet be understanding.
Have patience with each other,
For storms will come, and they will go quickly,
Forced to dissipate in the light of your love.
Be free in giving of affection and of warmth.
Have no fear, and let not the ways
Or words of the unenlightened give you unease.
For your love is with you,
Now and always!

 

This ceremony can be a followed by the Guests Blessing/Wishing Stone Ceremony that will truly bring everyone together.

Please read the next in my series about including the Guests Blessing/Wishing Stone Ceremony

 

If you have any comments, questions or unique ideas about this ceremony please contact me anytime.

Samantha@heart2heart.us

919-373-4267

www.raleighweddingofficiant.com

 

 

 



A Bigger wedding Could Equal a Happier Marriage

Photo by Giphy.com



Eloping at city hall may seem like a sign of love so true and everlasting that there’s no need to muddle it with elaborate wedding plans, but new research points to another finding: that having a formal wedding — the larger the better — may lead to a happier marriage down the road.



“We know from social psychology research that people like to be consistent, so making a public declaration of commitment may help people follow through on their commitments,” Galena K. Rhoades, co-author of the study, released by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, told Yahoo Health in an email. “This finding may also reflect that couples who have stronger communities and greater social support tend to do better,” she said.  

The study, co-authored by Rhoades and Scott M. Stanley, both University of Denver research associate professors of psychology, was based on new data from the Relationship Development Study, funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. They looked closely at 418 new marriages, analyzing the history of the relationships, prior romantic experiences, and the reported quality of the couples’ marriages.

“Most of the individuals who married over the course of our study, 89 percent in all, reported having had a formal wedding. Those who did reported higher marital quality than those who did not,” the researchers wrote.

In the study, having more guests at a wedding was associated with higher marital quality. To illustrate this association, researchers created groups of those who had weddings with 50 or fewer, 51 to 149, or 150 or more guests. Of those with 50 or fewer attendees, 31 percent had particularly high marital satisfaction; those percentages rose to 37 percent in the 51-to-149 attendees category, and 47 percent for those who had had 150 or more people at their wedding.

 

“Small or large, wedding ceremonies also reflect and enhance the community context of marriages. Weddings, after all, are public celebrations involving family, close friends, and often a wider network of people around a couple,” they added. “Emile Durkheim, the celebrated sociologist, is famous for arguing that community, and the rituals associated with collective life, give meaning, purpose, and stability to social life. The association between having a wedding and having a stronger, happier marriage could reflect two dynamics in this context. First, weddings may foster support for the new marriage from within a couple’s network of friends and family. Second, those who hold a formal wedding are likely to have stronger social networks in the first place.”

 

A formal wedding with many guests was not the only formula for success, though. Among the other findings:

• Those who had had more romantic experiences, such as having had more sexual or cohabiting partners, were less likely to forge a high-quality marriage than those with a less complex romantic history — which might seem counterintuitive. “It is surprising,” Rhoades said. “In most parts of our lives, more experience is better, but here we found the opposite. We think that more relationship experience may give people a greater sense of what the alternatives are, which may make them more likely to compare their marriages to past relationships or experiences. More experience in relationships also means more experience breaking up, and so it might set up a mindset that future relationships are also more fragile.” 

 

• Spouses who had kicked off their relationship by “hooking up,” reported slightly less marital satisfaction than those who had waited a while before having sex — something that jibes with other past research, such as a 2012 study that found that women who waited a whopping 182 days before having sex with their partner reported better intimacy and social support in their relationships.

• Couples that “slid” into living together rather than talking it out and making a conscious, definitive decision about cohabiting had slightly lower marital quality later on. 

But all is not lost, Stanley noted, if you’ve already set up your present marriage to be seemingly less successful than it could have been — at least according to these findings. “No one is doomed because of their past,” he told Yahoo Health. “Anyone can start going a bit slower, and start making decisions about important aspects of relationships — especially important relationship transitions — and improve their odds of making an existing relationship better, or finding the best partner for themselves in the future.”

Written by: Beth Greenfield Senior Writer Aug 20, 2014 - Yahoo.com Health/author

https://www.yahoo.com/health/who-knew-a-bigger-wedding-could-equal-a-happier-95299101582.html

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

Lovely intimate garden wedding for Sharon and Reggie

 

After 27 years of sharing their love for each other, today August 8, 2014 Sharon Woods and Reggie Powell decided to say their vows and make it official.

I began readying the wedding garden with my flower topped columns and arranging seating at 9am this morning for my bride and groom to arrive for a 10:30 am wedding.

The grass was still wet but the sounds of nature were alive and well. A red cardinal was flying overhead and I could hear the singing of other birds hidden in the trees. I knew this would be a wonderful wedding.

When my couple arrived I greeted them and invited them into my garden.

 

The bride was just stunning dressed in a beautifully colourful printed summer halter. The long and flowing dress with colours of teals, purples and blues were highlighted by the elegant matching jewelry she wore.

 

And her shoes…. Let me just say they had the wow factor all the way.

The groom dressed in a suit that made his distinguished hair illuminated his smile throughout the ceremony.  

Accompanying the bride and groom were three of their friends excited to share this special moment.

 

 

The ceremony begins on a happy note as you can see in this photo of the three of us all laughing.

 

Sharon and Reggie listen carefully as I deliver my marital words of wisdom.

 

As Sharon slides the ring on Reggie’s finger he smiles with delight

 

After 27 years Reggie and Sharon kiss as husband and wife!

 

The ceremony is over but their journey as a married couple has just begun.

 

 I love this photo.

 

There is not a better way to start off your day then such a happy event.

 

Rev. Samantha L. Heart 

Heart 2 Heart Ceremonies

www.raleighweddingofficiant.com